In an exclusive interview, Anthony nonchalantly stated, “I’ve got a standing date with my goldfish every evening, and I just can’t break that commitment for a tour, no matter how unplugged it claims to be.” This revelation has sparked widespread speculation about the emotional depth of Anthony’s relationship with his aquatic companion.

Garth Brooks, renowned for his charismatic performances, expressed his disappointment by dramatically strumming his guitar in a minor key. Rumors circulate that Brooks is considering renaming the tour the “America Unplugged, But Oliver Stayed Plugged into His Fish Tank Tour.”

Social media erupted with memes and hashtags mocking Anthony’s peculiar priorities. #FishOverFame and #GoldfishGate began trending as netizens debated the ethical implications of choosing aquatic pets over a chance at musical stardom.

Critics argue that Anthony’s decision is a slap in the face to the spirit of the “America Unplugged Tour,” but supporters praise him for staying true to his piscine companionship. Only time will tell if this rejection will lead to a surge in goldfish sales or a sudden spike in unplugged jam sessions with underwater audiences.